2 kinds of composers

As a japanese composer, i must recognize that there are two kinds of composers, those who know who they are and those who are searching.  right, i am the first kind.  iu composer is the second kind who doesn't know what they want to do other than win prizes and kiss white man's asses.  right, i am not interested so much in that for my life.  and powder sucks in every way in life. i hate that kinda composer.